Way Too Late Pt 3

[1313]

Painter,
you're right - of course. I've threatened this before. But, I'm also pretty much past the point of hoping for reconciliation. As usual, if people ask, I tell them. But I'm past the point of pouring my soul out to them.

This man has been a good friend for 12 years now. I allowed my W and her problems with her coach to come between us. That was a mistake, and I feel incredibly guilty about it. This poor guy is on borrowed time, and I missed a lot of good times. Granted, his W has made our relationship odd because she's kept it on a business level.

After 60 years on this planet, for the first time I'm questioning what friendship really is, and where to cut the lines. That's terrible. But, that's where it is. To become so cynical so late in life is awful. I trusted my W with everything. And now, I stand a chance of losing everything. But, I will lose it rather than let her get any of it.

I left a message with my friend's W, and said that "no is a good answer". I'm not really sure where I truly stand, if they were asking me to sit with him for other reasons - this poor guy could be in a similar situation.

But if he asks, I will answer. I've protected the W even up to this point. I've not talked about her drinking. I've not talked about her cheating. I've tried to assume things were behind us when they never were. I'm done. I will tell him why she filed for divorce. I will tell him that she said horrific things about me in court documents. I will tell him that she accused me of abusing my puppy. I will tell him I haven't seen my pup for over 2 months.

But, he'll need to ask. Because you know what? I care more about him, and how he's doing. I will relish ever single moment I get to spend with him, and try to raise his spirits. Because, I'm blessed. As bad as things are. I don't have Parkinson's. I'm not fighting for my life every single day.

I'll check in if I get to see him, and let you know how it was.
I'll be going to Santa Cruz CA to visit him. It should be a beautiful day, and I hope to take him out to a wharf somewhere for lunch.