Yes, I'm desperately trying to save my marriage. You're right. I need to start being more firm with her without being a jerk I really hope the best for you also.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
I know you are. We all are but you will not nice her back.
Seems her mind is made up right now.
God forbid what happens and things don't work? You will be stuck wishing you did things different during this time just like you wish you did things different during the marriage.
So besides my one motto of just get out of the way my other is hope for the best but plan for the worst. You can still try to save things but you need to be able to survive if things don't go your way for a while.
Google the stockdale paradox. There are even pages where people explain it for relationships and divorce.
Head up!
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
You can mainly drop the rope and leave her alone. No communication unless absolutely about child related and nothing else. Perhaps if she sees you are really done with her (and that's what she needs to believe) then she may start pursuing you.
So is this pretty much what I should do in regards to this separation starting tomorrow?
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
None of us have all the answers. But I do think you need to give her exactly what she wants right now. It will hurt and you will feel Like dying. This is why taking care of you is going to be so important. You need to be as busy as possible. I'm not joking. All Hours need to be full.
When you do communicate if you have to fake it do it. If you can't then make the time fast.
I did all Of this then went NC for a month. When the month broke for bday for son I decided to see what happens. That lead me to where I am now. Testing. I could be considered trying to hard right now but I need to see where this goes. I am about to see her for he fourth day straight today. Nothing about us just kid stuff and little misc stuff.
But I think you need to get punt of her way, hope for best but plan for the worst.
Most important take care of yourself and kids. All of your worrying. Been there. Everything you can think of. It does no good. Take it as it comes. Live in the moment.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
I'm really confused how this women was ever my wife. She's moving out tomorrow and I told her I would be taking tomorrow off. she said I didn't need to, and I told her I wanted to make sure things went smoothly. So, today she calls my mother (Her Mother in-law) and tells her that she's concerned about me being their, and that i might do something. I've never laid a hand on this woman or even gestured that I ever would. She tells my mother that I'm not well. Really!!!! I'm absolutely floored.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
it is all in the game to make sure they get what they want. this type of action from her is also why am so concerned yo do not have any form of separation agreement.
Do you really think that the woman that would say these things about you wouldn't push for more things?
Are you still worried about upsetting her? You prob feel like you have been doing everything to make that not happen and look how she reacts.
time to stop worrying about her and worry about you and kids
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
do you have any agreement what she can and can't take? It sounds strange that she is worried about you observing her move out. Like she doesn't want you to see what she plans to take. Or who may be helping her. It's your house, if you want to be there then do it. You don't need her permission.
Me:49 W:45 M:19 T:22 EA confirmed and ended 8/2014 S:19,17 D:9,5
