Went to solicitor and went ahead with legal separation. I am protecting myself financially. Solicitor said that H's proposal was fair as I could end up with less equity from the sale if it were to go to court through D judge. If it was the case I'd be able to afford a descent house for kids and myself! She says that his proposals are fair and not to rock the boat too much.
I'd be lying if I didn't shed few tears but this is how it is and now I have reached the point of acceptance that this is my life now! I also found out that there is a lot of history of nervous breakdowns/ depression in my H's family (my FIL had one, one of FIL sister had to be institutionalised due to severe depression).
Doing legal separation means that when H will file for D it'll be quick as all financial aspects would have been sorted out. I know he'll file for it as soon as he is in his new house, so I'm expecting it in the next 3 months. I'm fine now with it as for once in his life he won't be able to blame someone else for his mistakes and he'll take responsability for ending this marriage. I only protected myself financially today.
On another note got a hi and thank you in the same text by H. A nice gesture as I never got anything like that since separation! Also OW updated her FB profile pictures with a quote happiness this way. It hurt a bit because she did it on the anniversary of the day I kicked him out and changed it as the same time I called her last year to tell her that she could have my H! This has made me realised that she feels she needs to be in a competition with me and that she is insecure to put have chosen that day and that time. I don't believe in coincidence!
If I were her I'd start to feel worried, and this is only my take: for 2 years she has been OW in the dark, and now for a year his GF ( so in total 3 years with him), but H still hasn't initiate D proceeding, hasn't introduced his 2 young kids, then bought a house that isn't near her or me ( he could have said that he bought his house where it is so he can do it up and sell it, but it's all renovated). Also with H's record with women: left his first child when she was 4 because he hated her mum, then cheated on his wife and left two other young kids, I guess I'd be concerned if I was his new girlfriend. I can understand when someone leaves their partner but when it happens twice and that the second time he would still be with his wife if she hasn't found out about the affair cries big red flag to me. It looks like a pattern to me from H's behaviour. Or OW is so desperate that she will accept anything from H.
Also in his letter H has outlined what kind of access he would like for the kids and it looks like he would be only spending a day with OW every other weekend! Not a good start for a new relationship if your partner wants his kids every weekend, but hasn't introduced them to you.
I know I shouldn't focus on OW, but it looks like she might not get the relationship she wants with him, so it proves me that H is the one with BIG and SERIOUS issues not me .
