Need Help

[Lostman]

Made it through another day. Yesterday was a pretty good day.

I did not ever initiate conversation with W and did not respond to all of her attempts to communicate. I'm becoming less dependent on her to feel ok.

I did have a bit of jealous anxiety creep in, but was able to overcome it and I think it was just my active imagination and not stemmed in reality. I know that jealous behavior is very unattractive and I don't want to be that way (for me).

W sent me a message when I was on way home from office to find out what I wanted for dinner. 99% of our time married, I would have said I don't know and deferred to her. She HATES that about me and I know I only do it to be a "good guy" so she can have things she wants. I told her what I wanted for dinner and she made it happen.

After dinner, I put the kids to bed and didn't really show any interest in doing anything. She asked if I would like to watch a movie or TV show and I though that sounded better than staring at my phone, so I agreed. She put on a TV show that was something I had interest in watching. She asked if I was ok and made sure that I wanted to watch it.

She is noticing my detachment and now I have to learn how to deal with her tests. When we went to bed she snuggled into me (it was very cold in our room). All of this is VERY confusing, but it's better than the cold distance I was getting from her before.

Also, she is not on her phone constantly and is not guarding her phone like she has previously.

I have not sent her a message this morning yet and don't have plans to. I will be strong today.