It's difficult because I was unavailable to her (a distancer) before all of this happened. I've learned that I have abandonment issues that I left unresolved as a child and I certainly let that impact all of my relationships as an adult (not just with my wife).
In acknowledging much of my own issues and honestly working on them, I have learned just how much I do love my W. The hard part now is that she told me it hurt her how distant I was. I am learning to not pursue and that she is more attracted to the "NOT NEEDY" me. However, when she does show interest, I do want her to feel a loving connection to me that was non existent in the past.
It's this nearly impossible line to walk and I have no idea what is right and wrong.
Me - 32 WW - 30 D 11, D 3, D 2 T - 9 years M - 8 years BD - 2/16
