Getting out of in house S (8)

[otw]

Me personally. I wouldn't be going there or any of the stuff about sharing movers right now. My motto when she was moving is just get out of the way.

I have the space and distance she wanted. I am testing otherwise now. You can see my thread update but right now. No way.

[vise82]

Hey good point.

I ffel like this is not the time to stress about not being friends. Like you said I too had the issue of W thinking of moving to another city. I just stood up for the kids to get them in the same school. W now agrees. We both have houses in the school zone.

I also feel if I don't go to visit now when she is inviting me how do I ever expect to get invited. She has not told me she is dating. She has not shown that she is dating. I see no reason why I cold not check out her place.

I have suspicions that she is thinking of dating. But I too was in a place like she is at right now. I am not going to ask to fix stuff for her or ask to visit her. She invited me. There has not been a relationship talk for a while now. It is straight forward, She wants a S, to know for sure that she does not want to be with me. If she wanted to date men she would be on dating websites and out meeting men. Not home with me watching tv in a different room.

I am stronger now. I have no problem visiting her place. Is it not this the movement I am looking for. It wont hurt me to go.

Now like another poster said If I didn't want to be with my W I would spend my time on dating sites and not here.

[otw]

You know your situation best.

[vise82]

Hey OTW,

I m not trying to brush your opinion off. You are living this , just ahead of me. I value your experience and thoughts.

I have read your update on your thread and I can see why you want to push things. You want closer or and ending of the limbo. You want to know if she is interested in a romantic relationship or not so that you can move forward or move on. I hope you get your answer.

So today is my birthday. Yeah for me.

Anyway looks like W has canceled going to her weight loss club to take me out with the kids for dinner. This is very nice on her part and she said the kids wanted to take me out for my birthday.

This morning I said good morning to W and she said happy birthday. I said with a smile thank you. Said good bye to kids and her and left the house for work.

I am going to enjoy this with no expectations.

[Huddy]

Happy Birthday!

Yeah, no expectations. Most of us would probably bite our errant partners right arm off if they suggested taking us out.

[otw]

by no means do i think you are brushing me off. I meant what i said. you have to be in charge of this situation and after thinking about things it may be best to go over. Might show that you are not affected by this mess and will be just fine.

I am prob due another update after the past few days, but i will give it some time to see what happens now and then write something up.

I know what i am testing and seeing what happens may not be recommended, but like i said to you we know our situations best!

[vise82]

hey day is going really good.

Trying to stay cool and keep emotions in check. W emailed me and asked how my birthday is going. It brought tears to my eyes as I have been craving this kind of question for a long time. Happy tears.

I need to get it together. Play it cool. She is asking me what restaurant do I want to go to and had a list. This is almost too much. Even in the MR before BD there was not as much concern for what I wanted.

I need to act cool and breezy and grateful and polite. and again no expectations.

[otw]

enjoy the moment. Live in the pesent. do not think about future past or what could be or should be. Enjoy what is taking place at the dinner. It is the only way to live and be yourself

[pinn]

enjoy the moment. Live in the pesent. do not think about future past or what could be or should be. Enjoy what is taking place at the dinner. It is the only way to live and be yourself

yes Vise this! No expectations! Enjoy the time

[vise82]

Hey thanks for the great advise.

The dinner worked out well for me. I was able to be myself. Was confident. There was on instance where I hesitated. W just comes home and Kids are outside with me, they get into a group hug type thing and S7 call out for me to join them in the hug. I hesitated and looked at W and kids and said maybe later.

I wanted that hug but I have not tried again to hug her since months ago when I asked for a hug and was denied.

Kids played more outside and W and I sat on the porch together and talked a bit about taxes and a new neighbor came over and talked to us about selling the house quick. W offers to me that If I need money she just got approved for a credit card with a very large limit. I was tempted to say something but with her past credit history she will be in trouble. She was saying she needed to get all new furniture for her house. She has ran us into credit trouble twice before, and here she goes again.

I just said thanks if I need anything I will let you know.

Really it felt natural and like there was nothing wrong. We went to dinner and it was great, kids were good and I was interacting with W. Taking food off her plate,I was sharing my food with S4. They came out with a birthday cake, W got a dessert also. We ended up switching half way to try each other dessert. I was in the moment and it was really good.

We came home and I put the kids to bed and then W was watching TV where she watches it. She talks to me about her work and she will be working the weekend. Customer day. I always take the kids to it so they can visit. I mention I would take them. She says no don't bother there wont be anything for them. I said its ok I don't mind just so they can pop in and I can take them to a place that will be close anyway. She replies well they might like getting a donut there. I said ok well we will see.

She has been keeping me away from her work. I think that was for a show of her boss of how she is a single mom now and needed a raise. She got the raise. I will be bring the kids there and looking my best.

After that I just went to watch some TV where the other TV is to end the night.