Juju, I have had a lot of the same cycling thoughts. Was I that horrible? I was critical and nagging. Didn't validate well, but was always supportive in action. Took H for granted. Just like he took me for granted. I was annoyed that he wasn't the person he was before we got married.

We both failed at this, and none of us had the tools to pull us out of the downward spiral.

When someone cheats, they take the pain to a new level and nobody has deserved that.

I discussed with our MC today (I went by myself as I have since May) that I'm grieving more the person I thought H was rather than the person he really is.

M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17