I agree with Roiste that is a positive him doing the test. You have shown great courage and resilience in your situation.
You are feeling content because your life carries on as you still need to get up and deal with kids. I think that you have accepted that it's life now and that you'll carry on doing what you are doing regardless of what happens.
Last week was my year anniversary and I have accepted now that it's over. I think I'm with the proverb that says it's a little too late. I can see glimpse of hope in your situation, so take each day as it comes and look after yourself.
