So since my last post I have been on some anti-anxiety meds and they to be working most of the time. Im still very overwhelmed with my circumstances but feeling a little better about my future. I have booked 10 piano jobs so far for the month of April and they should bring some extra money in that is desperately needed at this point.
As for W, I don't even know what to think. I don't know if I even know her anymore. We hardly speak and when we do its only about money or the kids. It seems that this is not bothering her at all. I cant imagine its not but it certainly seems that way. She is very cold and distant. Ive been doing a good job of PMA when im around her. We see each other at the kids functions. I just keep my distance and try to look happy.
When I first logged onto this site and read about the length of time it takes to get through something like this, I didn't want to believe it. However it is most definitely true. And the roller coaster is relentless. the ups and downs are excruciating.
Something that im not doing well with is drinking. Ive been drinking way too much. Like everyday after work except when the kids are around. I hate it and want to stop but self control is not my strong suite right now. I just want to be happy again so bad and put this all behind me.
Next week is the big golf tournament here in Augusta and I am playing piano four nights. I have been doing this for years. Although, I didn't last year because I was just too depressed. So it will be my first time as a "single man". The women are not in short supply during this week and I am working myself up to try to avoid making any mistakes.
I still just feel awful about the whole thing. Thanks for listening.
TK
M:39 W:40 S:10 S:7 D:12 BD:3/5/15 Separate BR:3/5/15 W moved out with kids 1/3/16
