One time she doesn't respond to you kissing her....and the next time she starts kissing you. One time she initiates sex....and the next time she rejects you. There is a reason she does it.
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I tried to play it cool, but I am sure she could see through it. She has taken off her engagement/wedding rings and said she would have put them on if I wanted her to for the dinner. I said that I didn't care. She then said the rings make her angry and if we work it out she doesn't know if she wants to wear them
Maybe it's b/c we are women seeing what another woman is doing, but Christy called it right. This thing about the rings was bait she used. When she made that last statement, she was trying to pull you in to another R talk. I think she was checking to see if she still held you in the palm of her hand. She had detected you not being so needy and pursuing, so this is was her way of checking your relationship temperature. Trust me, this had absolutely nothing to do about rings.
Next time she does something like this, don't tell her you are going to buy her new ones! Just don't give her the satisfaction of giving that type of bait a response at all.....or either say, "That's fine, do whatever you want". Be nonchalant and let her wonder what's going through your thoughts. She will, more than likely, do a lot of temp checks.
Don't feel bad, though, most of the LBH'S who first arrived, don't see the temp checks for what they truly are. You will learn to recognize them. WW's are very manipulative. She isn't sure if she wants to remain in the MR, but she wants to know that you are still available as her backup plan. So, she will temp check to see if you still show signs you want to save the M. She does this by baiting you into arguing for the M. If that doesn't work, then she can always use sex.
When you are initiating the kisses, or wanting to ML...........then that tells her you are still there as her backup plan. She can reject you, b/c she clearly sees you still want the R. However, when you don't pursue, cater to her, or initiate physical affection.......then she initiates the kissing and ML, b/c that is her way of assuring herself she holds you in the palm of her hand (backup plan).
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
