My story job 9140 (3)

[Jb9140]

I would be interested in hearing peoples experience on their spouse moving out of the house to their own place. My wife has denied having a affair to this day. My question is, if there has been a affair when they move out do they normal try to still hide it, or it explodes wide open. I know I need to get a life and stop trying to control this uncontrollable situation, but I'm still interested in peoples experience.

[otw]

search my name and posts you can get everything you want. A lot of reading though!

[pinn]

My question is, if there has been a affair when they move out do they normal try to still hide it, or it explodes wide open.

What does it matter? Would you feel better if she is secretly hiding an affair or if it was out in the open. Would you behave differently either way?

[Jb9140]

I hear what your saying, but for me it also has to do with the kids. I think the kids are going to have a hard enough time in the beginning getting used to living in two places. you throw in another person coming over and showing affection all over Mommy (and its not Dad)I believe it's really going to add to the confusion, And I personally will have a hard time not saying something if this were to happen. I know it wouldn't do any good, and probably make things worse. But I hope I'm able to detach and just act "as If".

[otw]

Do you have a separation agreement? Have you spoke to a lawyer?

You can very easily get the other person limited around your kids.

[Jb9140]

Spoke to a lawyer, but never paid to get a separation agreement. I figured she would see that as controlling.

[J5K]

Jb,

If you are suspicious it is probably true. Use the DB techniques as best as you can.

My W admitted she is dating. She is done with me.

Unfortunately for me, my W and I are going for the D. We now both want it, it is a shame that she can't see the impact this is going to have but make sure you have strong boundaries. My W lied many times and will not change so we will let the courts decide our family's fate.

Good luck, I hope you have a better chance at saving the M.

[CWOL]

Spoke to a lawyer, but never paid to get a separation agreement. I figured she would see that as controlling.

If you are separating and this bothers you that much, you should pay for a separation agreement that limits the OM's presence around your kids.
Keep in mind it only works until your D is finalized. Then all bets are off.

[otw]

i think separating without an agreement is not protecting you or your kids.

You keep saying you are worried about what will happen to your kids, but seems you are being scared of you W.

Do you really think if you get an agreement she will think you are controlling or is it you think things are more permanent and she wont want you back?

i have seen this over and over in your sitaution. You avoid at all costs talking about anything about this with W. First pictures, then kids communicating with W. What happens when she tells you that you can see the kids anymore or wants you to pay her money?

She moves friday right?

I have to say i am concerned for you in this.

I think you are trying to just not do anything in hopes she will not get mad at you.

[otw]

as i read my post again, I can see how it sounds mean or whatever.

Not my purpose. I am trying to make sure you dont get blindsided while trying to save your marriage.

I want for you what we all want, but we must protect ourselves and our children before anything. OUr spouses are not the people we know right now.

I am pryaing fo the best for you