You are right kat, I have no clue what he is thinking. And I realize it really doesn't matter. Unless there is some action, his thoughts towards me don't mean anything.
I saw my therapist yesterday and just hurts into all out tears when I sat down. I let it all out. Every single thing. Of course my feelings aren't all about him, this has brought up other stuff for me I need to deal with. It felt good to release it and have it validated. DB has toyed with some of what I feel. Like I am not ok with myself if I still need someone else in my life. I think there is something wrong with me if I feel empty inside without a partner. My therapist ensured me that she understands my feelings and it is just human, that I am still whole even if I feel a certain emptiness alone. I'm just feeling the gaping hole a little more right now.
If you stop by my FB page, read the article I reposted. It was kind of life changing for me yesterday. When someone else puts into words exactly what you feel is pretty mindblowing. I know what I feel is just a part of the process. It really is a great read.
Thanks all for being here for me during my craziness. I'm going to make a huge shift in the way I feel now. It's a choice and I am ready to make that choice.
