I guess it's progress in a way or her trying to find an excuse to still see him. the challenge she's probably having is that he's part of a social group in industry and she doesn't want to give that up.
Me: 40 W: 45 T: 13, M: 11 1 D: 9
Suspect A 6/15 ILBINILWY 8/15, and 3/16 EA/PA Discovered 3/16 EA admitted 3/16 W Moved out 4/16 W opens R talk and says A over 1/17
"A question on our custody arrangement, D will stay with me and W will have visitation 2 nights a week and every other weekend at the house (or away if she so decides). I'll make myself scarce when she's there - but do you think this is compromising to much?"
I can not comment on your state but in my state that is pretty darn good. The sooner you start and the longer it goes that way the better. In my state most courts favor the status quo for if it is working. Regardless in my state if she went for primary later they may give her some more days but it is better than 50/50 and they would read into it about 'why was mom willing to give up so much time... must be something bad' Get every second you can with your kids! I envy this agreement and wish I had it in my sitch with my stepboys. If you could even convince her one night a week but it is a good deal for my area of the country. Best wishes to you buddy!
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Weird night last night - W was totally engaging as I was trying my best to stand off. She even booked the trip for the b-day celebration (in the middle of the night) and sent me an email confirmation saying I can take my D if I don't want her to go.
Got to remember patience and that she'll be up and down through this journey, she agreed to our temporary sep agreement (almost too easily as if this is no big deal to her)
Me: 40 W: 45 T: 13, M: 11 1 D: 9
Suspect A 6/15 ILBINILWY 8/15, and 3/16 EA/PA Discovered 3/16 EA admitted 3/16 W Moved out 4/16 W opens R talk and says A over 1/17
Did your wife book the trip for your birthday after you told her there would be no family birthday trip? Did your lawyer draft the temporary sep agreement? I'm getting the impression that you are focusing too much on what she is doing/thinking. Attempting to mind read makes it harder to detach and GAL. Put all of your time, effort and energy into being the best PacLove and Dad that only a fool would leave.
You are at a very fragile point in this relationship and it would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
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Yeah she booked it after I told her this past weekend that I'm not interested in going as a family. It's a resort a few hours drive away so I may just go with my D to get away, it was "her birthday gift to me" as she said in the email. She left it open to me as to whether I wanted her to join or not. She also told me this morning that I can cancel it up to 3 days in advance. I may go to get away and show her what she's missing by not having her come along (Detachment).
I drafted the separation agreement on my own - I deal with a lot of agreements at work so feel pretty confident in it however will be meeting with a L tomorrow to discuss.
What are your hours?
Me: 40 W: 45 T: 13, M: 11 1 D: 9
Suspect A 6/15 ILBINILWY 8/15, and 3/16 EA/PA Discovered 3/16 EA admitted 3/16 W Moved out 4/16 W opens R talk and says A over 1/17
The "moving out for space" line is pure bupkist. "Space" translated = "I need time to pursue a relationship with someone else but I'd like you to hang around as my plan B in case that doesn't work out."
That is what "I need space" means. What you have to decide is how much sh*t you're willing to eat. How low is your own self-esteem. You'll either put up with being someone's plan B or you won't. Only you can say but remember this. Nobody ever respects a doormat and if she doesn't respect you, she won't want you.
Just curious what you tell your friends when your the LBS? W wants to keep this a private matter - but D will know so it's going to get out. Family will find out and I've already confided in some close friends - but I'll be seeing some family friends of ours this weekend (alone).
Do I say we've decided to take some time out for a while? While on the surface that may seem PC, it is not necessarily the truth....
Me: 40 W: 45 T: 13, M: 11 1 D: 9
Suspect A 6/15 ILBINILWY 8/15, and 3/16 EA/PA Discovered 3/16 EA admitted 3/16 W Moved out 4/16 W opens R talk and says A over 1/17
Just curious what you tell your friends when your the LBS? W wants to keep this a private matter - but D will know so it's going to get out. Family will find out and I've already confided in some close friends - but I'll be seeing some family friends of ours this weekend (alone).
Do I say we've decided to take some time out for a while? While on the surface that may seem PC, it is not necessarily the truth....
MHO is to tell the least amount of people possible.
If you are asked then you can tell them. I was surprised to find out that some of my wife's relatives did not know that we were divorced 4 years after the fact.
It was probably for the best though as that can make things easier later on down the road for you.
P.S. - Please stick to one thread until 100 posts, your threads were merged. It makes it easier to follow your story.
If people ask me I just tell them the truth, I.e. my wife had an emotional affair and is leaving me after I caught her. Is that kosher?
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
