Forging a new path

[TimR]

I feel so incredibly bad for you Melo. I remember when I confirmed the A, I was at my office and started throwing up. It was the worst pain I ever felt. Know this because I am living proof, you will make it through this. You will survive and there are people out there that love you! Embrace them.

I cannot tell you what to do about confronting or leaving. I did all the wrong things and you know what she denied it. Work on your self discovery. I did DB coaching which was helpful, IC which I didn't like but it helped, I went and saw my priest who was very insightful and not what I was expecting, this forum and friends. I discovered most of the reasons WW gave me that I bought into were bs, but I did have issues, no doubt about that. So I am tackling those issues, not for her but so when I have a relationship it will be a good one. Do I think I drove her to an A absolutely not, but I contributed. However, I was unhappy to and I did not cheat. I have a client who hits and hits on me and I resisted. She went slumming. Ok that is who she is fog or not!

Here was my thoughts most of the time I was here reading threads. I kept reading work on yourself you cant change her mind. I kept thinking what BS why am I here then?? I am here to get my WW back not to some self help. But I worked through what people were saying. What else did I have to do? And each time I did I would stop just for a bit from feeling sad and lonely. As that happened I dove right in, now I am feeling 98% better and looking much better.

So please, please, please, as hard or fruitless it may seem to you, work on yourself. Pick up a new hobby. Follow an old interest you never looked into. Take yourself out of your comfort zone! Let's face it you really can't feel any more uncomfortable. It will take and then maybe, just maybe WW will come back, maybe she won't, maybe like me you will discover you do not want her back.

I wish you the best of luck and know how hard this is for you. I would not wish it on anyone... except maybe OPs so they can feel what it is like. But you do you.