I wish I were as strong as you think I sound. A lot of it is faking it and most days I dont fake it very well when I am alone or when I am on the board.
These few weeks, I have somehow been lured to get into the front-row seats of the roller coaster again. Xh is definitely still temperature checking and throwing crumbs, with his recent invitation to spend kid's birthday together and his subsequent daily request to have kid almost every night.
Like a very bad dber, I allowed him to raise our hopes again and forgot all about my stfu smoothies.
I am now paying a heavy price for this. Because TP is definitely still in the picture and xh may or may not have told his C that he has found happiness with TP. Xh and I go for counselling in the same office.
He also seems to have told his C that I am in a relationship because somehow my C has the impression that I am seeing someone when I haven't mentioned anything to her.
I wonder if xh is going for counselling voluntarily or if it is still mandated by the court. Whatever it is, TP will be the one who reaps the benefits, not me.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
