I go through different phases. Often times I relate to the "abuser" or bad guy of the relationship. I read stories from people that left their relationships and their complaints are about things I could have done to my husband. I think... he feels he is leaving a abusive dysfunctional person. Maybe I am that person. Super nice to everyone else, but horrible to him. I never did any of the really nice things I would like to do now, and I did take him for granted and put him last. I was not supportive and hyper critical.
Then other times, I put myself in the victim role and feel like he ruined my life. Left me in my late 30s to live with my parents in an area I cannot afford and neglects his kids. Stringing me along because of finances, possibly cheating etc. that he never met my needs either, and I was merely reacting to that.
I do not know what is truth and that's hard. I guess somewhere in the middle makes the most sense.
