You don't know what he is thinking, so I wouldn't even go there. You only know what you are thinking and feeling, so you need to deal with that.
I know when I had a what ever you call it with K several years ago, I did the same thing and got obsessed with all of it when it didn't go the way I hoped.
Not healthy for me that's for sure. Now you know that a guy that fits what you are looking for is out there. Before you know it, you will find one that is ready for you too.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory