Had a down day because I was worried about finances. Supposed to exchange contract this week or next week but only seeing solicitor in 2 days. I guess I left it too late as I was still hoping that H would come back. Silly me. I came to the conclusion that there isn't much I can do about it. I'll have a letter draft by solicitor to make it more official to H to sign. That I will probably will have to withhold exchanging contract for a while so H signs the paper. I know he'll not be happy but I can't be kicked out of the house, and I could just live in even if he only pays half the mortgage as his name is on it!
If I move house I don't really need his child maintenance ( he offers lower than what he gives to his eldest whereas we have two kids!). I can't even be angry with that!
He is happy to spend his time with two of his great friends ( only learnt about them about few years ago), who are in their early forties but never married, no children and both single! My H is hardly ever in touch with his old friends since he accused them of behaving wrongly (ie being cold, distant with him whilst the weekend before he was bragging to them about OW) with him the night I found out about his cheating! And in the evening he is with OW. He even told me that he'd taking one of his two mates away for a long weekend as a thank you for puting him up the last year!
Funny thing is that H would never spend any money on me or finding good deals for the kids' birthdays, now he is spending a lot more on our kids: taking them to the cinema, nice little restaurants, doing fun things with him! He evn wants to take them abroad in summer whereas before he was saying he couldn't take some time of during summer. I'd take my kids to see back my parents but he used me going to see my family as one of the reason why he cheated because I was putting my family before us!
My parents called to say one of my auntie passed away, unfortunately because I was so low today I cried and started to feel sorry for myself! Now I have done it I'm feeling better but I'm at an age where I should be strong enough not to cry like a baby.
Thanks for allowing me to express how I felt today.
