Look, here's the important thing about dating: you SHOULD go out with people that you feel an attraction towards - and if it wasn't happening for you in 3 dates, it was probably not going to. This will happen a LOT, that a guy looks good on paper but no chemistry in person. Chalk it up to pheromones, subtle clues about his true personality, whatever - but it happens.
The FLIP side of the coin is that ATTRACTION IS NOT ENOUGH. So if you meet a guy that you're wildly attracted to, but he's an alcoholic chronic adulterer without a job or ambitions - uh, no.
The trick for you, is to not keep making the mistake of going for guys who attract you, but because of old unconscious scripts, are poor choices for partners. For instance, I have a friend who grew up in a family with alcoholism - not her nuclear family, but the extended family. Her alcoholic uncle was the interesting, charming, warm father figure she wished her dad could be. So as an adult, if there's an alcoholic in the room - in recovery or not - that's inevitably the guy she finds attractive, even if that fact is unknown to her at the time.
So if you usually find your self attracted to unavailable guys - you need to be very very careful about not dating those guys, EVEN IF you find them attractive. You need to wait for the guys you find attractive who are ALSO good choices on paper for you.
