JKSD... Yes we do quite a bit of yo yo ing. I am at my high when I am socializing and working. When I am able to get in a spiritual mind set I do better as well.
The coach said there is "a spiritual solution for everything".
To answer Zues question, I think that perhaps that is what makes it so challenging for me to detach.... Spirituality is not as easy for me to commit to as for others perhaps? Some days yes. Others not so much. Husband leaving me was an elective death, not just a death and that is disturbing to me. Maybe I am just grasping at straws.
I have to make it spirituality/positive thought like brushing my teeth or exercising. But it is more challenging for me because I was never engrained with it as a child, so what comes naturally for many of the posters here does not come naturally to me.
I feel different from not all but many of the posters here because I do not have these great memories of husband and I together. I do not have these romantic memories of husband and I (ok. maybe a handful) but not this wonderful beautiful love that a lot of people describe. We bickered a lot. I often felt invalidated by him. I felt like a big nag a lot of the time. I do not remember having fun at all. I remember being annoyed a lot. I felt like he always had to be right about everything. It was not like a romance movie. My life has not changed in the slightest since he left. In fact I might even have more happier times now then before because now I have new motivations.
So I don't understand why I am having trouble detaching. I think I just expected we would grow old together and be there for each other and work through the difficulties of life.
