Sadhub, I am so sorry for the situation you are in.

Having to deal with anxiety just makes things so much harder. I've been struggling with it since BD, too. Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor or therapist about it and to ask for something to help. Panic attacks get out of hand and shut our thinking right down. There is no way you work on anything at all, least of all your relationships, when you're in that condition. That's why there are anxiolytic meds in this world - xanax, etc.

Asking for help is not admitting failure. It's doing whatever you need to do so that you can be strong for yourself and your family at an extremely difficult time.

All the best.

H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16