I see that so many of you have grown by leaps and bounds. I continue to be awed by the wisdom and tenacity you all share in your MLC struggles. You all are AMAZING!!! I wanna be strong like y'all when I grow up! *HEE HEE
So anyway, I am on these boards again cuz I need some perspective again. Only you all know the stuff we deal with so I trust your wise words.
Updates: 1) Still receiving treatment. Scans still look good - PRAISE GOD! I feel good. Some days a little more tired than others. But overall energy good. Thank you for those prayers and support!
2) My children still struggling. Now XH bashing me more to our children. Hurtful angry words. XH new wife started in on me too and my DS12 tried to defend me. *Long story*
3) My mom had a stroke a few weeks ago. She's not the same. :-( She's my caregiver when I go to treatment and now she needs care too. The stroke was mild and she has some weakness on her left side but it's her cognitive skills that still need some therapy. I think the stress of helping me through chemo & raising my children while dealing with the crazy XH was taking it's toll on her. Please pray for my mom! XH doesn't know about this cuz my mom doesn't want him to know.
4) DS12 has had some academic issues. XH blames me. "If she were a good mom then your grades wouldn't be bad." XH said this to my son. My son came home crying that his dad berated both of us. XH - "Even my SS6 reads better than DS9." XH said these things on his last visit to my children. XH and OW said that DS12 school may be too hard and that DS12 and DS9 should live with them so that their grades would be better.
My son tried to explain (in my defense) that I didn't know what his grades were because he kept hiding his papers from me and continued to lie about tests, quizzes and homework. OW said that this is just an excuse. OW continued that when her children were struggling in school that they would facetime their friends for help. That her children always know when to ask for help & are doing very well.
So now here is what is really going on. DS12 had a great report card last grading period and received a small award for improving all his grades which brought him into A's and B's. The material at school isn't difficult though it is a more academically rigorous curriculum. He loves the school and has started to even like his teachers. But then, I don't know what happened. He started to lie about homework, tests, quizzes, etc. He was hiding his papers that had poor grades. I never received an email or call from any of his teachers or advisor. I believed my son when he'd rattle off all this information he learned in class. He'd show me a few good papers so since he had made such a tremendous improvement last report card, I really thought he was doing well. The school doesn't have a "Parent Portal" so I rely on DS12 to tell me about all his assignments.
Now this recent report card showed 1 failing grade and 2 close to failing. Those are significant drops which no one let me know until now. So of course his dad is upset as am I. I spoke to my son to explain that because he lied so much to me about school that now it's pinned his dad and I against each other. (Maybe that's a bit harsh - but I didn't know how else to explain it) His dad and I should be working together to help him but XH continues to bash me as a mom. I feel I was suckerpunched and made to look like a fool. How can I not know that my son was not doing well. XH is going to the school with OW to meet with the teachers. I will be meeting with them as well. I want to speak with the teachers and XH without OW but XH won't let that happen. They are very united.
I received a HUGE text again about how I am keeping XH in the dark about our children's schooling. He mentioned that his stepchildren have a parent portal with their schools and they are able to keep tabs on their classwork unlike this school. He now wants weekly papers of all of our children's schoolwork to know if his children are failing. I give him monthly report cards as he requested in Feb. This all stems from DS12 not performing well on this report card. It's reflecting on all my children and since I continue to homeschool - it's an issue.
I've mentioned it before that he didn't care so much about their schooling but now it's priority for them (XH and OW). I am not trying to keep him in the dark but if I knew, I would've intervened earlier.
My DS16 hasn't been on a visit since Jan. cuz XH told him that he doesn't want him on the visits until DS16 can be sincere in wanting to have a real relationship with him. He told DS16 that they should speak on the phone first to start communication then later move on to having DS16 on the visits. Well, DS16 tried calling and text too to talk to his dad but his dad never answers nor responds. DS16 is sooo hurt. DS19 hasn't spoken or seen his dad either since Jan 3 of this year. How sad! They are all hurting. And XH hasn't visited his other son since last year - poor babies- where did their dad go?
XH is so full of anger towards me..? Why?
Anyway, there is more but asking for some advice. I fear he's trying to build a case against me. He keeps mentioning that he's "not working" so he can be that full time parent for them now. Problem is that the boys would rather not be around him or his new family. The younger boys are dealing with the visits with a lot of hurt. They really can't get out of having visits with their dad. They wish their brother DS16 would at least come to be their protector but XH won't even allow him in the vehicle.
Praying for wisdom, strength, courage and DIVINE PROTECTION!
Thank you all for your wonderful support and prayers = I pray for each of you to have strength and peace.
