Thank you very much everyone, I appreciate your input. Had a thought last night, everyone if know wants me to skin him down financially, unfortunately it's not in my nature. He has written a Letter saying that if I agree to half share of the house sale, he wouldn't touch my savings, pension or assests. I'm going to see solicitor to have it written officially! It won't be legally binding as we need to be divorced for that to happen and I don't want a D. Last time I went to solicitor she said that when D happens the fact that H has signed a paper agreeing to the above would put him in an awkward situation if when we come to D, he asks for more in front of judge!
I'm just wondering if H isn't in MLC but just done with me and used the A as a way out. He came way early today ( was our eldest birthday) and stayed longer than usual. He did a little job and said he'd come back tomorrow to finish it off to which I said no and he finished it here and there. I had made one of his favourite dish as we had guests, so I offered him some before he left. Then offered him to come back later in late afternoon for a slice of cake. He gave me a time, but didn't show up. I wasn't too bothered to be honest, and he turned up half an hour later. Then stayed with kids until we were ready to eat.
While he was there we discussed the share of furniture, which we both agreed on as it's what I had in mind anyway. He even offered me to keep something he built before we met! He also talked about his projects, work . No mention about how I was or what I'm up to. It didn't really bothered me. I guess that it's what you are calling detaching.
I know that offering him some food and asking him to come back later for a piece of cake is against DB as it was like we were again as a family, but I offered him food as I wanted to (not to nice him back), and as it was his daughters'birthday I wanted to be nice. By doing those things he feels like he hasn't lost anything.
My logic behind it is that when I'll be looking back at my life, do I want my kids to remember how bitter I was with their dad or do I want them to see me behaving woth dignity and treat their dad the same way I'd do with a friend. I have chosen the latter as it's who I am: a caring person. I lost that side of me when I became a mother, got stressed by my job and swallowed by everyday life. This has cost me my marriage and i have to get back to who I was before I got married.
