G, sometimes when we are going over and over something in our head we are looking for that magic bullet. If I just find that "thing" that will explain all this then I can stop it from happening to me again and I can move on. This is a classic anxiety behaviour and I'm pro at it! It's like spinning your tires in the mud and you just get deeper and deeper into the muck but never get any further out. It's a fine line between "processing" and obsessing. I don't know where you are in this but I'm just tossing this out 'cuz I know I do it. Unfortunately (or fortunately) in life there is seldom that cut and dried pat answer that will wrap it all up into a neat little ball, "If only I had done or said this then...". Realize that when we do this we seldom get any answers that satisfy...sure, every once in a while we come up with a new thought and that just serves to keep us coming back for more. It reminds me of that saying "who says worry doesn't work, all the things I worry about never happen!" So just be aware that sometimes when we think we're "just processing" we're really not, we're obsessing. Feel better...it's not an easy journey. I've been there and done that. I think also the Easter holiday must have had an impact on you, it's hard to be alone on those holidays (although I know you love your daughter and your family, you can still feel something is missing). Thinkin' of ya
