Ok, W and I just had a long talk. I apologized for the way I brought up past issues etc. and that went fine.
Here's an excerpt from my note to myself to read to her... ---- #1 principal - We are a partnership where both parties do the work, support, motivate and encourage each other while both staying focused on the vision. You cannot just sit back and let me tell you what I want...that's the role of an employee, not a partner. You've lost respect for me in the past because you felt like a "mother" to me, but I don't want to lose respect for you in this process by watching you sit around each night watching tv when there's work to be done. ----
Anyway, I clarified this even further by explaining that we both have individual things we need to work on to boost the amount respect we have for one-another. I briefly touched on some of the things I could improve in myself (like listenening better, being the "man" around the house, etc). I then brought up a few things that she needs to look at in herself. The first of which is her avoidance with looking into herself. (I really hope I didn't make a huge mistake here). I addressed the fact that you can't always rely on yourself to achieve your goals. That I would like feedback when I do something wrong and praise when I do something right. In return, I would like to have her accept the same help because I loose respect for her when she whines about the things she wants but doesn't achieve them. A team helps each other achieve individual and team goals. I feel that I'm about to get flamed here but I addressed the denial /false-harmony cycle that her mother is in and told W that I see a similar pattern in her. I asked W to examine if she would like to have a life like her mom's (who is divorced and hanging around religious morons). I closed by letting her know how committed I was to keeping the family together and that I will do everything in my power to change myself to be the man she's always desired. I also reiterated that I'm not solely the one who needs to change. Igave some big "I love yous" and a kiss on her neck. She asked me to let her "digest" it so I came back up here to get my ass kicked by corri and friends.
It sort of feels like there's a time-bomb in the house that has to be defused and requires two sets of hands to diffuse it.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
