So, here's my take on something. I have never, in all the years I have been going through this, said one bad thing to my son about his dad. And trust me, there were many things I could have said as he did some horrific things. I have not regretted that stand for one second.
Because at the end of the day, I wanted my son to have his dad in his life. That was and will always be, one of the strongest compasses in my journey.
My son is now a man and he still, to this day, thanks me for that. Once you say something bad, it cant be unsaid..so good on you for acting with honor. It matters a great deal.
Your wife is still deep in the tunnel. I knew she was, but, you needed to see it for yourself. I am sorry by having to do that, that you were hurt again. But the truth is, it was necessary for you because of who you are, that you saw this through.
Now your job is to navigate your son through this and for you to continue on your journey.
You have been amazing throughout this and have grown so much. I always said that I wish I didnt have to learn what I did in the way that I did, but, I wouldnt trade the journey for anything.
While I know how deeply you were hurt, one day the hope is that you can truly forgive her. That is the ultimate goal. Doesnt mean you forget the acts. Doesnt mean you werent hurt. It just means that people are people and holding on to all of that winds up hurting us in the long run.
She is still a mess. It's best to leave her to it all. The only chance she has of making it to the other side is for her to do it alone. Thats just the way it works.
I am so proud to have "met" you. And there is nothing wrong with you continuing to post. This site is family.
And if you ever need me, you know where to find me.
