Boundaries. tonight i will be stating my boundaries to her. - OM has facebook liked pics of WW+S11 , also pics of S11 by himself (twice). i will be telling WW to tell OM to Unlike those pics of my S - OM must not have meet K's for play dates etc, if she wants this A, K must not meet him.
Well first of all, are you and your WW going to be separated, or not? B/c if she's moving out, you can't control what she does on FB. She'll laugh in your face if you tell her this is your boundary, and then the OM will laugh, too! Seriously, what can you do about it?
I won't go into everything right now, b/c it could get confusing. I'll just say that when a WW has agreed to end contact with OM and work on the M, then there should be a transparency plan in place. Blocking the OM from her FB, would certainly be on that agenda. As the H and a father, your job is to protect your family. However, if she removes herself and the children from you, the home, and your protection as her H and head of the family......then you are very limited. It becomes two homes. Your home and her home. The kids have two homes, and they have two sets of rules. They have your set of rules and her set. They have your family and friends, and they have hers. What she does in her home and with her friends are her business. Unfortunately, unless you can get a restraining order, you can do nothing to control who she allows around the kids.
This is not about a transparency plan. You are wanting to stop OM from "liking" photos on your WW's FB. You can't call it a boundary if there is nothing you can do about it. Sure, you can tell her you want it to stop.....but she will tell you that it's her business and you can't control her.....and then she'll probably block you from her FB. I have seen newcomers go around their house crowing about this & that being their boundary, and the WS laughing behind their backs.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
