Still hoping for progress II

[daybyday]

Today is one of those stinking sad days again. Waking up to quiet house. WAW will be coming by to get him today. I not only am feeling sad for me but for him also. He is pretty quiet but I can tell he hates this S.

I really can't believe it's only been 2 weeks. Today I feel really lonely and mournful over M. I have a few projects to do around house but the sound of this quiet house is deafening. Back on the rollercoaster.

[Thornton]

I wish I had some great words of advice, D.

But this is all part of the process. Weekends were very tough for me too at the beginning. Slowly they are getting a little better.

Just know, with time, the pain lessens. But there is no avoiding it.

[Sparkls]

I'm there with you DBD. I had a good week and now I feel like I'm being punished for it. Woke up this AM feeling the suffocating loss for the first time in a few weeks. Right back down after feeling a bit better. I guess thats why it's called the roller coaster.
*hugs* we'll get through this. My new favorite phrase is this is not my forever. Things will change. It's the only constant in life: change. Not sure if that's encouraging or sad at the moment but hey, it means that eventually this too shall change.

[sandi2]

If she doesn't bother giving you a specific time of the day, you need to start asking what time she'll be by to get S. Remember, you have a life! Get spruced up and look like a guy that's going out on the town. At least that is what she sees.

You need to make yourself get away from that house. Don't give in to the depression the empty house is trying to lay on you. Go somewhere.

[daybyday]

Thanks guys.

Sandi, I do make her give me a specific time. I think my morning sadness was really nerves of seeing her. She came to get S and I was very upbeat. She lingered a bit and discussed some stuff. Looking back I probably shouldnt have told her about anything that me and S did. Thats not what D couples do. Next time I will hold my tongue better.

I did get out of house and am doing something out all afternoon. I guess that getting dressed up, looking nice, even though I may have nowhere to go is a good thing to show her. She doesnt know where I am going.

I guess a good answer if she were to ask where I was going dressed like this, would be out with some friends?

[daybyday]

Back at you with the hugs Sparkls. Great point of view. My sadness attacks have been fewer and further between also. When I saw W today, I just kept questioning in my mind, "who are you?".

On days when i have my S, she doesnt text or call him,(he has his own phone) to tell him morning, whats up?, or goodnight. I make it a point o have contact with him all through his stay with her. I want him to know he can always count on me to be there, even if I'm not.

If I can say one thing about this whole rotten mess, it has made me a much, much better father. I feel really good about my R with S. She has a long way to go in those regards. Her compassion for what he is going through is non-existent. Not my W. Alien lacking empathy is my spouse.

[daybyday]

So, my sister came up today and we did stuff all day. My S and W show up unannounced to get S's wallet. It was awkward for my sister to have to face W. W didnt seem phased much. Oblivious is one word that comes to mind. I ask S if he texted me before coming. He said sorry, I forgot.

So after sis left I texted W. "Please text me ahead of time if you plan on coming by. I didnt want to say anything in front of (sis)." She said "I will, sorry. Thought s13 texted you." Sure. Blame it on your son.

I hope I made my point without being a dick. I think she could sense I wasnt happy. Who is with an unannounced visit let alone your WAW?

[sandi2]

You handled it fine, and it doesn't matter how she feels about it. At least she pretended to accept it well enough. Now, to see if she'll honor your request.

[daybyday]

The first Easter that I have ever spent alone. Was sad thinking about my sitch, but not necessarily about WAW. Lamenting the loss of family togetherness more than anything. Went to Easter service and then went and got me a big fat NY strip and baked potato. Cooked those up and polished off every bit of it.

Did some yardwork and watching some tv. W has S at in-laws. He hates it there. Two more days and he is back with me for five. I have been on vacation for the past week with lots of time on my hands. Kinda looking forward to getting back in my familiar routine. Pulled a muscle in my as* while bowling with sis yesterday. Hopefully I can get back to gym as my weight loss has plateaued.

[daybyday]

I thought last night that I would text WAW and see how quickly she would text back if at all. I asked how her Easter was. She replied back quickly that it was okay, lots of food and that she just got home. She texted back right after asking if I went to my hometown. I texted no, went to easter services then played tennis and cooked me a steak. She asked if services were good, also who I played tennis with. I said services were good. I didn't tell her who I played tennis with. Thought I would let her guess about that.

Don't know if I should have texted or not, but tried something different as I have initiated very few texts since s. See what works?