Hello, my sweet, amazing friend. I havent read through all the comments on this thread so forgive me if I repeat what's been said.
Having "known" you for some time, I feel as if I can say a few things. You have fought for your marriage with everything you had and then some.
I understand being the type of person to never give up. I understand wanting to help someone you love. I understand completely. But I always told you and others, that this cannot ever be at the cost of you. It just cant. You matter, Raine. A great deal.
He is still so lost. I know what the depths of depression feel like. I know what it is like to just want to run away. It is an abyss, that. A feeling of free falling into a never ending hole.
The thing of it is, that the only way he has any hope of stopping the fall and climbing back out...is for him to do it alone. No one can do it for him. No one can wish it or hope it for him.
You are an amazing woman, my friend. You did what you needed to do for the man that you loved. And now you must love him enough to truly let him go..and love yourself enough, too.
There is something special about the people on here. We are fighters. We love with a depth that cannot be described.
I know that you needed to walk this journey in the way that you did. I know that without a single doubt. You should have no regrets.
So, it is the next part of your journey. Celebrate you, Raine. Celebrate who you are and how you love and what you mean to those who love and care about you.
He will either get through to the other side or not. It is out of your control.
I pray that he remains in your children's lives. I know that they will be ok because of who their mother is...although I know it breaks your heart to see them hurting.
I am honored to have watched you walk this. I know the next part...will be you soaring. No one knows what the future holds..except that it holds you.
