Dave, Let me ask you this: What is going to be YOUR contribution to fixing your SSM?
Specifically, what are behaviors that you brought to the table that allowed or facilitated the breakdown?
You seem to be overly focused on what your wife is doing or not doing. This is going to get you NOWHERE! You know this, Dave, you are just getting caught up in the moment. Believe me, I soooooo know where you are and when those negative thoughts take over it is so hard to stop yourself. Is this more of the same from you?
What are your goals, specifically? Can you list them for us? We'd be able to help you stay on track better if we knew what you were trying to accomplish in terms of your own behavior. I think I have a pretty good idea of what your expectations are of your wife, but not a clear one on where YOU want to go.
Regarding the babysitting issue, was it her sarcasm that bothered you? The magic wand comment? I have to say that I agree with you. If I had opened my heart and admitted a need to spend some alone time together and then got shot down with a sarcastic comment, I'd feel disheartened too. But I think that you could perhaps work on tackling it RIGHT THEN AND THERE. What you said to her was great! I maybe would have added, Oh and by the way the sarcasm really bothers me when I'm laying my heart's desire on the line for you. Letting things fester and then attacking her with it later on just doesn't work. I just did it to H the other night and you feel so retarded bringing it up! I have started thinking of H as a puppy dog who is being trained--I have to say what is buggin me right then and there, or the trainable moment is gone.
