You are trying to find a way to cope with this mess and tell yourself it is not as serious as the other stories you read on the board.
Not everyone looses weight. If you want to believe they spent the night together and nothing physical took place......then go ahead. If you want to believe it's just an EA....then go ahead.
Men have more trouble coping with the thought his W had a physical affair, and try to discount any EA as being too serious. For a woman, an EA is serious b/c it involves her heart, mind, emotions, and imagination. She can fantasize the EA being whatever her imagination wants. That's why an EA can linger so long, b/c her fantasy builds it to be much more than it is. She dreams of the OM and how wonderful a life with him would be. Even after the A ends, she has to fight the thoughts and dreams in her head.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
