Not much to report. Detaching more and more. I don't think about H as much as I used to. He puts zero effort into our relationship. I'm tired of being the only one trying. I don't hate H. Still love him very much, not in love with him, at least right now.
Our BD anniversary is coming up this week. Do I do something? Do I force the issue? I know he will never file for divorce. Number one he can't afford it, number two that would mean he actually has to take an action. Our whole M, looking back on it now, things really only ever got done if I made it so. I think about filing, about just ending it, but I know for now I will do nothing. Maybe my feelings will change, maybe his will. Getting a D now really has no effect on my life at all.
I really think having the one year looming close is making me think about it more, rather than just living life. I can now file (one year separation). Also think back to getting married. We were married a year after we met. Now we have been apart for a year.
I never thought this would drag out so long. I thought it would be resolved one way or the other. Be back together or be done. Nope, here I am a year later and not done and not back together. But I am not the same person I was a year ago. Things really don't faze me like they used to. I made it through hell, where some days were so dark and painful that I thought I would die. I didn't die! I still feel the pain some days. I learned to let things go that are out of my control. Worry less, enjoy life more.
Work in progress.
Exams in a few weeks. Lots of studying to do.
For tonight I'm just hoping not to loose power again. Thanks to the ice storm last week, we were without power for 24 hours and spotty for days thereafter. Lots of trees down everywhere. Tonight we are having thunderstorms and heavy rainfall. Always something!
Now I'm going to float off to sleep, watching the lightning flashes.
Happy Easter everyone......he has risen!
Di-mond in the rough M-45 H-38 My children S-25 D-23 T 5 M 4 H left April Fools Day 2015
