No matter what your actions in the past, your W has a choice, her choice is to resolve your M or not.
There is little you can do as you say about your W attitude.
At the moment you are the most stable parent for your two lovely girls. They need protection and love and your W is no longer in the place to give this.
Frankly I think you should ask her to leave to create peace in your home.
The chances are she is going wayward, the raging is poor behaviour.
Peace
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW