Happy Easter everyone! I haven't posted in awhile. Wanted to give an update. X is living his new life with ow blah blah blah. I have definetly done all the wrong things since split in October 15. Begged, pleaded, crazy x stuff. It all backfired of course. I have been quitely doing dim contact. I haven't been texting or calling and he hasn't either except a couple times relating to 15 yr old son. My x seems to through stuff up in my face like I'm the blame for our bad marriage. I'm feeling pretty disgusted and feeling good riddance to him right now. He is not being someone I should ever cry over. The bad part of my accepting the break up is now I'm very depressed and grieving and angry. I'm making a counceling and dr appt tomorrow cuz seems to me I'm feeling more depressed now. My friend says our partners leave and be with people more on their level on how they feel about themselves. I don't understand it, it sad and frustrating. My plans when school gets out is to relocate to where my sister lives. My 15 year old is all for it and is ok with visitation schedule with his dad. It's 3.5 hrs away. I just feel like I need to get out of this tiny dead end town for both our sakes. He says I'm just trying to punish him by taking his son away. No, I'm trying to move on. There are reminders of him and I see him and ow everywhere. All my family members have moved away. Right now I feel he won't do what is right by fighting for us. He seems content doing what is easy, being with ow. It sad. but I see a light at the end of the tunnel and new adventures in my future Thanks for reading and any thoughts are appreciated!
Last edited by Cadet; 04/15/1606:49 AM. Reason: Link
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
Hi Tamjkar, I say good for you with the therapy and with letting him go. I can see it must be hard to be in the same small town as him and OW and if a fresh start is what you need then go for it. It is good that you can see spots of light in the darkness and are making your own plans. Distance can mean you reduce the chance of possible reconciliation - but I think you need to do what is right for you, and of course there will be a link through your S.
I hope the therapy helps you work through some of your understandable, but difficult feelings & take care xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Decided not to move to Missouri as my 15 yr old decided he didn't want to leave his dad and his dad's family. He is very close to them. So I am going to stay here for now.
I have been doing well on dim contact. When his texts increase or when I see him that's when my self control gets out of wack. We were at an away baseball game last nt, no family or friends were around so we had a chance to talk. He is very much an avoider and shuts me down when I ask personal questions. He did say that we have been thru so much and the many many times he tried to get thru to me in the past (when I was having my feelings of not loving him) just accumulated so much that his feeling went away. He says he'll always love me but it's different now. He is still with OW but he says he thinks about things a lot, that it's not serious, that he doesn't know if he loves he, he doesn't know if we'll ever get back together.
I have to let it all go and leave him be and continue to GAL. I really don't see reconciliation for a loooong time and by then who knows how I will feel. I think deep down he has a lot of anger about me from past mistakes and his feelings are blocked not gone. But he's not one to take the hard road to work things out or go deep with his feelings.
I'm doing and feeling better, not on any medicine for depression. I feel I'm pulling out of that. I am going to concentrate on not contacting him and not bringing our R up!
Not sure what do do or think. I will just keep keeping on..
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
Pls explain to me again why it's important not to contact and bring up R Sinai can STOP doing it!!
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
T-20yrs M-8 Me- 46, XH- 44 S15, S21 1 yr separation and divorce my decision 2007 Another 1 yr separation my decision 2012 Him PA-8/16 I moved out-9/16 He's been with OW ever since
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
Not sure how to take comments such as, I'll always love you but it's different now, when I asked for another chance he says not right now, same with request for counceling. I do feel like his feelings love are blocked with anger and resentments from the past. He says he's going to break up with OW eventually! That girl should be told that(but I won't), or he could be just saying all this stuff not to hurt me. I feel in my gut it's not over but that may just be wishful thinking.
I have to GAL like it's over for good to heal I suppose. Tough stuff! Any advice or similar stories??
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
Hi Tam, I think the more you can pull back the better. I wouldn't ask him for another chance......it's he who needs to ask you for that given all circumstances!
Let him be, and let things implode with OW - in the meantime, pull right back and live your own life as if he'll not return.
If he ever does want to - well, you can consider that at that point xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Back to DV busting like crazy! Gotta stay strong and leave him alone. I hope time is on my side!
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
