After a very productive and enjoyable day by myself yesterday, I'm finding myself having a really rough time with D5 today. I'm cranky and irritable and impatient and very low energy. I don't know what's going on. I feel sadness and some rage inside and can't seem to shake it. Is it because I didn't get enough sleep? Or just that a holiday brings these feelings of loneliness out, or what? I've felt so off all day. I've kept thinking how much I hate parenting by myself -- how every moment with my daughter is on my own.
He gave her two great days this past Friday and Saturday filled with adventures and playdates with new and old friends. I've done that plenty of times, even though today was kind of a bust -- I guess I have to remember that because I am finding myself totally focusing on the negative at the moment. I have another 30 minutes with her today and want to enjoy it.
Such a negative post on a joyful holiday. It helps so much to know there is a community out here. I'm going to turn this around because there is no logical reason for me to feel so low right now.
