Giving up means what my higher power wants isn't going to happen.
With WH i havent given up on thoughts of an R for my twightlight years. I have let go of WH as the other in that R though. I made a mistake, i misjudged so I will adjust.
I would rather find another way to achieve what I want to achieve.
My Fins are failing and I will adjust and change, turn this tug boat around.
The PTSD Has me in retreat at the moment, I will keep going.
15 years ago cervical cancer was a death sentence for me, I am still here. One doctor told me that in the chemo trial I was on I was the least likely to survive in my group. I am the only one left. That isn't competing, I wanted all the others to succeed.
So giving up has never been an option, when my time comes my higher power will move me on to the next phase of existence and I will let it. They will have to push me from this world and pull me from the next. I will not go willingly.
The tombstone test? I do not want a legacy of any kind, I do not want to be remembered, I don't want a memorial or a tombstone. I will want to be free of this existence and on to the next. To be scattered to the winds, to return to the earth, whatever parts of me can be recycled of me for others they can have. I hope others will remember my kindness and carry some strength in it. My higher power will decide and I will have so little say in it. I doubt history will find me remarkable. I am comfortable with that. My threads will be expunged.
This isn't enormously Zues like and sounds defeatist although I my thoughts are different. I find the world a wonderful place to be, I am blessed indeed.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
