I'll try answer that quickly V.

I realised that I was not being my potential and definitely not showingthe best me at all times. I was making good progress but was being held back by negative emotions.

I am not questioning these emotions as not being justified. I: understand why I felt them and agree with the logic. But they were nit helping me

So by focusing on more positive stuff, including appreciation, I am more positive.This helps me. I am pulled down less by unmet needs and bad moods (hers).

I feel better about me and the world. I am still aware of my situation and it still weighs. But I can shine regardless.

Plus if I react positively to a negative interaction with W, it diffuses its power and does not spiral.

And yes it shows W a better me.
I don't have time to explain this better but I hope this answers your question.


R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together