I just went back and started reading some old posts from Corri where she said the following....
Quote: Not letting someone off the hook means you do not allow someone else to make their problem yours. If you want her to do something for you, then it is up to you to communicate that expectation so that she can communicate back to you her thoughts and feelings. When you were sitting with her, all you had to say was, "I was hoping I had given you a really great reason to want to sit and cuddle with me, but I feel like something is wrong. Can you tell me about it?"
You are not 'letting her off the hook' by bringing the issue to light, not letting her avoid the discomfort, and clearing up an issue so that you do not personalize it. She should have said something to you, and her part in this was that she avoided clear communication with you because it could have turned uncomfortable for her.
I have just read this about 20 times.
I'm terrified to say "I really would like to ML to you tonight" because a couple weeks ago I tried to asked and she made ML a terrible experience where she simply tried to get me off with absolutely no "love" or reciprocal desire. She blew it off as "role play" of a sexually aggressive woman and I've tried to bring that night up again recently to get her to admit that she was just watching the clock and she responded "Do we really have to analyze everything so much".
I have to keep asking myself why I put myself through this when I could simply quit, go back to riding my mountain bike and working for 12 hours a day. This whole process is exposing all of individual and collective flaws. The more I work to fix things, the faster they are falling apart. It's like I "took the red pill" in the movie the Matrix (note: taking the red pill wakes you up to your true, horrific reality while the blue pill keeps you in a state of ignorant bliss). She is still living in the "blue pill" fantasy land where "if it looks good, it is good", hence her constant requests to "just put a smile on your face and be happy". It's getting very hard to be happy. I can't close this box. I've seen too much of the reality to ever go back. I made a joke earlier about denial. I need to rephrase it "SHE CHOOSES DENIAL". Seriously though, I'm going to feel like a total pushover if she ML with me tomorrow and I completely blow this off. My instinct would be to deny her advances but that would set us back months.
ONCE AGAIN, I REALLY NEED HELP WITH WHAT MY NEXT STEP SHOULD BE.
A. Ask her to make "couple time" for today/tonight B. Say nothing and wait to see if she initiates C. Express my disappointment about last night. D. Combination of a few of these E. Other
PLEASE HELP!!!!
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
