Wow you are very brave and I admire you. You have quite the story and there are very many of us in the same boat - especially me. I found the 37 rules and the rules of WAW/WW very helpful and reassuring. The bad behavior = neglecting kids, sneaking around, etc seems to be text book.
I'm the last one to be giving advice - so I won't.
Go over the rules again and again. They can help get you through.
M:50 W:53 MR:20 D:21 S:17 S:11 BD-Sept 2015 Suspected PA Sept 2015-Confronted W & OM Dec 2015 Actually EA In house Sep:Jan/16-May 2016 W moved out:May 22 2016 OM-Intro Oct/17-On scene July/Aug 2017