You guys. I'm not sure what to do. I really want to go back into the bedroom, wake her up and just go ballistic. I guess I'm an idiot but the last 3 times she's taken a bath at night we ML afterwards. She came up to take a bath so I started to get excited. I came up and showered off, cleaned up, brushed my teeth. I got in bed and waited. She had fallen asleep in the tub, came back into the bed, laid down right next to me completely under the covers. I'm still thinking that she's about to perk up and engage me. So I coyly asked "hey, whatcha doin' down there". She replied "sleeping".
God this makes me so frustrated. How can she forget so quickly that our marriage is hanging in the balance. How can she prioritize this marriage into the garbage can. I approached the subject of the baby sitter again and she gave me all these excuses why it is so hard to find one and that I have to find one that our D likes etc. etc. I (again) dropped the subject. The truth is that when she's motivated to find childcare, she finds it. It's one thing to hope for an improved sex life. It's another thing to try to respect a spouse who is blissfully living in the world of false harmony. A person who tells me to "just be happy...it's a choice". It's BS. I've been doing that for the past 10 years. How else have we stayed married this long. Now that we need to rekindle the marriage, we cannot have false-harmony...it's a veneer over a rotten foundation.
I'm so furious right now. I'm sure if I approached her, she would start asking for examples so she could argue each one of them. I really don't care what her arguments are. Her actions speak volumes.
PLEASE HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO. I AM REALLY HATING THE FACT THAT I HAVE TO KEEP QUIET ALL THE TIME AND BE PATIENT.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
