We were invited to a wedding. My W is running around trying to find a babysitter and looking to buy a dinner jacket that will work with my tux (yes, I own one...not bad for a t-shirt and flip-flop, software engineer). Anyway. I just went down stairs for dinner and then said, "gee, it would be great if we a had a regular baby-sitter for regular nights out together". She said "and it would be great if I had a magic lamp...if you really want to find a baby sitter, then find one yourself". My response was (in a very nice tone) "I know you are really busy with the house and if you don't want to handle the social life, then I don't mind being in charge of it". Daughter came in at the point and the conversation was dropped. See the priority difference? Is she still operating under our old "independent" habits? I guess she hasn't reconnected with me on the romantic level yet. I guess Mars, Venus and the moon aren't in proper alignment along with the wrong humidity outside, combined with the fact that our dog barked today.

I could barely make it through dinner and couldn't finish it. I opted to be excused for a "time out". She just thinks I'm really tired because I told her so. I didn't want to upset her.

Question...
Do I even tell her why I am upset? Or do I just shut up, find a baby sitter, and play the cruise director role in the marriage? It comes back to the concept of "what makes a marriage a marriage". Dates, intimacy and sex are what define a marriage as a marriage. Everything else is the business of roommates and business partners. If she would offer to facilitate a non-obligatory date night, that would be synonymous with "initiating" because it shows that she cares about the "warm" sides of being married. Of the times we've had sitters so we could go to a party, I've asked if we could leave early or skip the party and have a nice night out on the town. She always says no. Confronting her on this will only stress her out and I've been trying to minimize this.

Oh man, I'm dying. I just want to go to sleep.

btw tim. thanks for the kick in the ass. It only took me about 5 minutes to see my pity party so to feel better, I called a hypnosis center to see if "chattiness" is something they could help out with. Not even sure if this is the issue but it is something I've always wanted to improve. I just hate dealing with these BS shrinks. I'm hoping the hypno will work much better.

Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time -Steven Wright