Thanks, HP. I have been guilty of it myself, in the past, which is why I was able to recognize it for what it was, and post with such conviction. Whatever W thinks of me, I will not allow it to lead to self-defeating and self-destructive thoughts. There's a lot I can't control about my sitch, but I CAN at least control my own thoughts. I might whine about how lonely I am, and how unloved I feel, and even about how I find it hard to relate to others on an up-beat level as a result, but I will never allow myself to beat myself up over it. Yes, I have CONTRIBUTED to my present sitch, and it is healthy to own up to that and work at correcting my own mistakes, but this did NOT arise because I am not worthy of having a great marriage to a loving wife. My W is married to an attractive, interesting, generous and devoted man, who loves her more than life itself. If she can't see that, it's HER problem...
