Quote: I think it has to do with the fact that my W does not prioritize "alone time together" or schedule them. Once again, I guess I just realized how disinterested she is in spending time with me.
Whoa, Dave, I'm having a weird "me, too" moment here! That is one of our major problems... it goes way beyond the sex thing. I can't even get on her priority list at all. For anything. We NEVER go out. Well, almost never. The last movie we saw out was "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." Can't remember the one before that. Dining out is just a waste. We just look at each other and make small talk. Mostly about the kids. If we were given a free weekend at an exotic hotel, that would also be a waste.
However, when you said:
Quote: ...must be one irritating a-hole. Maybe my reality is that my W can't stand to spend time with me...
you lost me. That is such self-deprecating whiny crap, I don't even want to hear it. You know better, as evidenced by your second post. Yes, the constant sh!t they put us through really does a number on our self-worth, but by realizing that, we can re-program our own thoughts to avoid thinking of ourselves as worthless turds. You know I'm right. Realize that the lack of desire to talk and be with you is yet another facet of this problem we're all facing. When a marriage is sick, it's sick on many levels. That's what makes it so frustrating... trying to decide what to work on first.
I think the first order of business, is to work on ourselves, NOT "to improve ourselves so W will be more interested", but "to improve ourselves so WE will feel better about ourselves." And MAYBE a side-effect will be an improved M. Maybe not... but either way, we'll be feeling better about ourselves, and better able to make better life decisions.
