1) Confront and expose (shake them out of the fog) 2) Love and ignore (Show them what they will leave) 3) Detach and GAL (Give them space to come to their own terms)
Knowing my wife, or at least thinking I know her, she doesn't like to be controlled (control issues from her Childhood) so 3 would probably be the best course of action. It's just hard to sit idly by.
I was on another site so I did #1. It was good and bad. Good in that it blew any argument that it was me that was driving her away from the marriage, since everyone knew about her EA and I presented the evidence. Bad in that she's using it as the reason for D. There's no silver bullet in this mess though. I did #1 three weeks after BD, since she told me when I discovered it that she was moving out that night. My WW is also very prideful and made the same remarks about another friend whose H cheated on her. They still reconciled and she couldn't believe her friend took him back. So because of the Exposure she stopped talking to all her friends that I exposed her to. She couldn't make up any stories that would justify her betrayal.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
