However, if you make yourself unavailable, the chances of her missing you will be much greater in physical S. It's something about a woman seeing the man she dumped doing much better than she ever imagined. He is active. He looks great. And, he seems happy! Somehow, it hits home with her that he could be so happy without her being the center of his universe. She realizes the single life is not what she thought it would be. She starts to reevaluate what she really wants.
JB, if you want to see this in action, read through my last few threads. Not sure where it will lead or what I even want but it is progressing as described above...
Jb, not much to add that the other vets have not said. Two weeks in to my S already. Trying to be very unavailable and have her thinking. Trying to GAL and stay busy. Still have those days when your gut is so knotted but they are getting better.
I have found that the more interaction I have with W the worse I feel after. I guess because of thoughts of what could be. I also dont feel quite right being completely unavailable either. Trying to find the balance.
The only problem I have with being completely unavailable is, how does anything progress without WAW feeling that they can communicate with you? It's a razor fine line I think.
Good luck. We are all here if needed.
Fight the good fight no matter the quality of your opponent.
Me-50 WAW-45 S13 Married 24 years Bomb 1-Jan.2008 Disc. EA She came back for 8 years Bomb 2-Jan-2016 Separation 3-12-2016
Thanks, DBD. Just anxious for this new phase to start. In-house separation is horrible. I'm definitely going to rearrange everything around at the house, furniture wise. I'm also thinking about buying a puppy to keep myself occupied, and I'm sure the kids will love it. Probably going to get accused of trying to make the kids want to stay with me more, Oh well.
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
I agree IHS suks big time. You will at the very least be able to breathe again and you can sweep the egg shells up off of the floor. Puppy idea sounds good. I have thought that too.
Let her accuse away. Do what is going to make YOU happy at this time. They walked out, they cant choose how we deal with their bomb.
Fight the good fight no matter the quality of your opponent.
Me-50 WAW-45 S13 Married 24 years Bomb 1-Jan.2008 Disc. EA She came back for 8 years Bomb 2-Jan-2016 Separation 3-12-2016
Ok, so wife is packing slowly, like a box a night. Any ways some of the stuff is questionable of being mine hers or ours. Would it. E rude of me to start taking some family pictures off the wall while she's not home today, so she doesn't cherry pick those? When she confronts me wha should I say?
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
Damn it, I can't seem to keep my mouth shut. Wife gave me the cold treatment and usual ugly attitude last night. So like a dumb ass i told her before she does any more packing of items when need to discuss items she takes. I followed that up by saying I notice you seemed to have already cherry picked all the good stuff out of the bedroom. Which she replied your keeping all the furniture. Me telling her your the one that's moving out, not me. STFU is the rule i needed to follow, it's just so hard sometimes
Me-LBH, 44 Spouse-WAW, 41 Married for 9 years S, 7 S, 5 BD - November 20th 2015
