My W continues to stay away from the house til I leave. Packing my things and remembering the good times is gut wrenching. It's Easter weekend, everyone is out with their families and I feel the loneliest I have ever felt. I can't see my D4 because they are all with her family and friends for the whole of the weekend. She dictates when I can see her and that is usually when it is convenient for her. My D8 hates me as I am a mean man for upsetting her mom and refuses to see me. My w came over this morning to take her laptop as she feels I might snoop or break it. No smiling or how are you, just a scorned face. All my family and friends have gone away too so there is nobody to even talk to.
Last night she messaged me to ask me how I felt about us? I told her how much I loved and missed her and realise my mistakes. She continued that I HAD EVERYTHING and that she is feeling low as she is mourning the loss of our M. I replied that it doesn't have to be this way and that I am here for her....she was having a bad night but it just made mine worst.
Why is saying things like that? She is divorcing me, she can turn this all around and we could save our family! She says she needs to grieve...but I am the only one who feels a great loss with no ability to get it all back.
I just think she is trying to put more guilt on me than I already feel. If it is so bad, why not talk to me about our issues? Why continue to pursue the divorce?
She says she doesn't want to think about us, but she must be if she feels so sad. I just don't get it. So much to loose for all of us...I have never felt in such darkness.
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
