V is for Vanilla 28

[Zues126]

V, I've reread your last few posts. I couldn't find a clear question, it looks like you were just curious about my thoughts on these musings.

I'm no anger expert. If anything, I am on the other end of the spectrum. I never knew I was angry. In fact, I was so angry that I disassociated. In my teens I thought I was Mr. Spock, above emotions, detached, and just regarded everything with a scientific curiosity. But just beneath the surface the fires raged, hotter than the sun. In the last few years I've learned to let it burn, and I have learned to be ok with it.

The other night I had an angry outburst with my children. No need to go into details. But I'm sure it made them uncomfortable, and I'm sure XW would shake her head and think "You are scaring the kids, this isn't good for them, they should feel safe", blah, blah, blah. But you know what? I think it's all garbage. I have maybe 2-3 outbursts a year where I get a bit tweaked for 5-10 minutes, my kids might be a bit uncomfortable, but you know what, that's ok once in a while. The world is full of adversity and it's ok to be tough enough to handle a raised voice once in a while. As long as they know they are loved and aren't in danger.

So that's where I live these days, letting my fire out, and managing through it the best I can. Yes, anger has given me a lot of motivation to change.

But is that really the only way? In the example of a kid being bullied, is anger really a requirement to take action? Are the only options to get angry, or to stand around passively like a cow chewing her cud? I don't think so. Take a look at Ghandi. At Buddha. At Jesus. I don't see any of them getting angry at their oppressors, yet they all changed the world. They had compassion, empathy, brotherly love for those around them. Yet they acted out of this love for the love of their understanding of the greater good.

So there you go. I think some anger is fine in moderation, as long as we manage it so we don't hurt those around us. I think it's healthy to be in touch with your feelings so you don't hide the anger, convert it into something else that's easier to identify with at the expense of distorting your own innards. But if you have truly lived a lot of life and simply don't get worked up easily...that's fine too IMHO. Motivation can come from passion just as easily as from anger. I've seen your works on abuse, I've seen you reach out to help others. If you are unmotivated, I wish more people were as unmotivated as you.

If I missed the point you wanted my opinion on please clarify the question, but that's my first reaction. Take care V!