Your frustrated and pulling your hair out after a month with your children being their sole parent.
Get used to it. You'll be their sole parent for a long time.
Your ex-wife doesn't care and will just THINK (she won't say it because actually communicating is beyond her): "Well....it is no longer his place to attempt to control what I think or say either".
The message demonstrating your frustration with her inability to co-parent will be completely lost on her. It's a wasted effort. She'll just use it to fuel rationalizations and justifications of her own like
- He's so controlling - told you he was a jerk - he begrudges carpooling his own children around town after I did it by myself for years - I worry about the him not carrying forward all the special holiday traditions and memories I tried, by myself, to give my children
If you don't want to take on the burden the next friday exchange...don't take it on. Just communicate that she needs to provide the transportation or whatever it is or forfeit her "visitation" time (always refer to her time with the kids as her "visitation" time versus your time with them is them being "home").
Maybe someday she'll approach you about wanting to really co-parent....until then you are wasting your time hoping for cooperation from a wayward. Read up on parallel parenting guidelines....it's a much healthier system of parenting in high conflict divorce situations like yours. Even just a couple of years of parallel parenting with help you detach from this emotionally traumatic situation.
Also---glad you didn't go the hospital. Putting yourself in hurtful situations like that "for the kids" is/was absolutely unnecessary and simply self flagellation. It's bad for you and every time your kids see you around your ex-wife they are going to become hopeful (or worse - try to manipulate reconciliation).
Take care of yourself and "do better" yourself. Your ex-wife isn't the mother she used to be.
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
