In limbo

[smh]

I felt as if things were going so well a year and a half after I got the ILYBINILWY speech and that H wanted out of the marriage. We are still sleeping in separate bedrooms (his choice) but he seemed happy, engaged in life again with me, planning future trips and projects together. I really felt we were in piecing. And then it all derailed and I am still reeling from how fast it happened.

All seemed, although not prefect, like we were on a good path going forward. And then my MIL called and said she was coming in to town for one night and wanted to stay in our guest room (where my H currently sleeps). I told him we could put her off and tell her we were going to be away. He told he he felt he could handle one night sleeping in the bed with me. Well, apparently he couldn't. In the days leading up to the MIL coming to stay he good moodier and moodier and more miserable.

The night the MIL stayed he practically had to force himself to go to bed. For a bit I though he was just going sit up all night in our living room to avoid it.

Having to sleep in our marriage bed seemed to traumatize him. That was a week and a half ago now and he has not recovered. He almost looks as if he has gone dead inside. He goes through the motions and he is polite enough but he no longer engages me in conversation unless he has to and he no longer discussed future plans, like the trip to Hawaii we have booked in October, which he had been so excited about before all of this happened.

To be clear, he has always been a very closed off person emotionally. He holds everything inside and tends to be very passive aggressive.

I just feel hopeless at the moment. I feel like he has just completely checked out. Like he is just biding his time till he can figure out what to do.