We also bought a new car yesterday. W couldn't have done it without me. Had a good 1 1/2 hour drive to the dealership. Talked about her family, faith, laughed a little bit. After we got the car she said thank you, thank you, thank you. I said yep and drove away. I know that I shouldn't help so much, but getting stuff is doing a 180 for me. As is answering calls and texts. I want to show her that together we can accomplish anything.
Ok so just an observation, WW are very sensitive to any elevated mood. I just got "home" and I asked my MIL (whom we live with) for stamps, when she said she would go wake up FIL to get them I said no,no,no,no,No! It's OK let him sleep and WW said wow you are hyped, calm down...to which I replied, no I just don't want your Mom to wake up your Dad. I also found her reaction to me condescending, but maybe I'm being too sensitive.
I have a question. Last Friday my wife was angry that S7 wasn't telling her why he was crying. It doesn't take much to make her very angry and so she started yelling that she doesn't care, f***k the kids, if they don't want to tell me what's wrong then I'm not going to do anything for them! She continued to say that it's not like she's always angry and yelling (which she is) so they should be able to trust her. It went on for 20 minutes and the kids were quiet, not really sure what to do or say. Should I address the fact that no kid deserves to hear f***k them? Or am I just trying to control her?
Alright, feeling better today and I didn't snoop, coincidence? I think not. Anywho, I decided that I'm not going to bring up the flipping out on the kids thing because it happened a while ago and I won't gain anything by showing her that I am holding on to it. In reading DR I am supposed to have small specific goals for knowing my M is headed in the right direction, so here goes: Goal 1: W will be respectful towards me, she won't belittle me Goal 2: W will spend some time with us as a family (to pray, read books or just joke around) This one happened last night and the kids really enjoyed it, so did I but I kept it cool. That's all I can think of for now, if I think of some more I will post.
I have a question. Last Friday my wife was angry that S7 wasn't telling her why he was crying. It doesn't take much to make her very angry and so she started yelling that she doesn't care, f***k the kids, if they don't want to tell me what's wrong then I'm not going to do anything for them! She continued to say that it's not like she's always angry and yelling (which she is) so they should be able to trust her. It went on for 20 minutes and the kids were quiet, not really sure what to do or say. Should I address the fact that no kid deserves to hear f***k them? Or am I just trying to control her?
Children should not be subjected to this type of behavior in a parent. As their father and living under the same roof, the children need you to protect them from their mother's tantrums.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Goal 1: W will be respectful towards me, she won't belittle me Goal 2: W will spend some time with us as a family (to pray, read books or just joke around) This one happened last night and the kids really enjoyed it, so did I but I kept it cool.
How will you accomplish these goals?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Hey Sandi, I will try and be less available to her, I will go out with friends and make sure that I put down some boundaries although I am terrible at that and always have been. For example, she was talking to me about tampons on the way to get the car. I was happy that she was talking to me about personal stuff, but kinda uncomfortable because we havent been intimate since May 2015. I really don't know how to put boundaries in place.
Did some HW on boundaries and I will tell the W when I feel like she's being disrespectful either to me or to the kids. I will not have any expectations and will be as calm, cool, confident and fun as I can be when around her and the kids.
In an effort to GAL I am going to see Deadpool tonight. I am going to invite my friend but if he can't make it I am going to go solo. My question is, given that with my particular sitch my W thinks I had an A, should I anounce that I am going to the movies or just go and not say anything like you are supposed to with a WW?
